Yo, it's 2004
And all you candy asses thinkin' ya'll real pussies
Ya'll ain't seen shit yet
Eh yo Mayor let 'em know
Oh yeah, guess who's back
It's the motherfuckin' pussy with the little nutsack
Don't care about cheddar or the paper chase
I'm a fuckin' grown man with zits on my face
A straight up chickenshit, a pansy ass punk
If I'm guarding your ass it's an automatic slam dunk
While thugs are at the party bustin' all y'alls asses
I'm hiding in the corner wonderin' where the fucks my glasses
Can't afford no rims, my whip's a bucket
Fuckin' dick's so small no bitch can suck it
I don't pop nines, I got weak rhymes
Back in nine deuce I got pissed on ten times
I roll solo, I aint got no crew
I say please don't hit me more than a cow says "moo"
Afraid of heights, I'm ascared of the dark
I walk an extra 3 miles to avoid crazy fucks in the park
Denied by the bloods, turned down by the crips
My fuckin' auntie kicked my ass and she got two plastic hips
When I steps to the club feel free to stare me down
'Cause I just got re-elected the Mayor of Pussytown
Mayor of Pussytown
Yeah, by landslide, you pussy motherfuckers
Come on, come on!
When bangers hit the street I stay home and watch tv
Slumped down on the couch so no one can see
Unless I hear somebody knockin' on my door
Then you'll see me crawlin' cross the motherfuckin' floor
I've been a fuckin' coward every day of my life
That's why I pretend I don't know everyone's banging my wife
I won't sit on the porch, I don't want no trouble
I'm more afraid of goin' out than the fuckin' boy in the bubble
When the shit goes down I'll make a break so fast
Look like a motherfuckin' rocket goin' past
Searchin' for the sneakiest place to hide
Straight into the ladies' room, ain't got no pride
Slippin', slidin', runnin', hidin'
You know damn well it's a scooter I'm ridin'
Oh, no, here we go, out come the glocks
I take off so fast I pop out my socks
You're gonna fuck with me I'll cry then run
I called the cops when I got shot with a fuckin' squirt gun, yeah
He clams up
He shuts down his pants he almost shits
He'll even look the other way
If you grab his grandma's tits
Well, I had a little poodle but my neighbor stoled her
I'd shoot him with an AK but the kick hurts my shoulder
I can't pop no gun and I cant fist fight
Hell, I'm afraid to take out the fuckin' garbage at nite
I use the steps in the pool 'cause I'm terrified to dive
And don't fuck with my floaties, deys what keepin' me alive, bitch
Never drank remy, never dealt crack
The one time I smoked weed I had a panic attack
And if you're lookin' for my dick in the men's locker room
Best bring your binoculars with the fuckin' super zoom
No, I'm just playin', I don't fuckin' change in there
The one time I did, got my bush sprayed off with Nair
But did I stick up for myself, no fuckin' doubt
I did what I do best, I broke the fuck out
I ain't lookin' at you, I ain't tryin' to front
It alright with me you called my Jimmy a cunt
Freakin', sneakin', crawlin', creepin'
When the gangs are bangin' I'm in the basement sleepin'
I'm straight from the streets, seen trouble in every size
And when the shit hits the fan I throw on a fuckin' disguise
Fake nose, fake wig, fake beard
They all work pretty good
You know, or sometimes I just use a map and a funny accent
And pretend I got lost in the hood, motherfucker, yeah?
Yeah, now all you coward motherfuckers out there
Walkin' 'round with your head hangin' low
Just 'cause you ate one dick, just know
My man the Mayor had to suck off his whole high school
Case closed
Mayor of Pussytown
Mayor of Pussytown
Tags: adam sandler hip-hop rap comedy hip hop parody candyass pussy
